When considering a big decision, do you ever say, “Well, someday…” Want to know how to shift from that “someday” to “today”?
Being unmessablewith starts with your goals and dreams. It is important that you find your dream source, speak your goals out loud, strip off that “someday” mindset, and act today!
Josselyne Herman-Saccio has been a master coach in The Art of Being Unmessablewith for more than 30 years and has coached more than 200,000 people. She is an author, entrepreneur, former #1 po-star (yep, pop-star), founder of a nonprofit, and a wife and mother of three. She has a passion for empowering people to realize their dreams NOW vs SOMEDAY. She helps them develop themselves as unmessablewith no matter what life throws at them.
In this episode, Josselynne shares her powerful secrets on how you can be the boss of your life and business and become unmessablewith!
What you will learn from this episode:
- Learn how you can be unmessablewith by finding your dream source
- Understand the importance and power of speaking your goals out loud
- Find out why “someday” doesn’t exist and why you should stop holding onto it
“Goal setting is very powerful, as long as you treat it like a game, not an expectation.”
– Josselyne Herman-Saccio
01:57 – Josselyne shares how she got to her “someday” dream
03:01 – Josselyne walks us through what she does every day
04:07 – What is a typical big message problem that people encounter
08:04 – Josselyne talks about what is a dream source
10:00 – How do you know if you have found your dream source?
10:29 – The life-changing power of speaking dreams out loud
12:51 – Josselyne shares her thoughts on goal-setting
14:12 – Is it sufficient to do goal debriefing by yourself or with others?
14:48 – Does someday actually exist or is it just in our minds?
16:14 – Q: What does unmessablewith mean? A: What I mean by being unmessablewith is being able to create moment to moment and not get reactivated, not get hooked, not get stopped or thrown down for the count.
“Creating with your word, whether you speak it out loud, or in your head is a very powerful thing. And when you speak it out loud, it exists beyond your head. It exists in my relationship with you, or with whoever’s listening to this conversation right now. Then you start to fulfill what you’ve created through action.” – Josselyne Herman-Saccio
“It’s no different with any dream or vision that you have. You first start it by creating it in language and word, speaking it, and then take the actions to fulfill what you created.” – Josselyne Herman-Saccio
“You create it, you act on it, you engage with people about it, you make requests, you make promises– it’s all interacting with human beings.” – Josselyne Herman-Saccio
“Goal setting is very powerful, as long as you treat it like a game, not an expectation.” – Josselyne Herman-Saccio
“The powerful thing about goals is to debrief them. You debrief whether you were successful or failed.” – Josselyne Herman-Saccio
“The debrief is more valuable than even the result that got produced because you get to see what’s missing, what would make a difference, or what was there that got in the way.” – Josselyne Herman-Saccio
“Debrief around goals even more powerful than the goals themselves.” – Josselyne Herman-Saccio
Ways to Connect with Josselyne Herman-Saccio:
Ways to Connect with Sarah E. Brown:
- Website: https://www.sarahebrown.com
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/knowguides
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahebrownphd
- To speak with her: bookachatwithsarahebrown.com
Full Episode Transcript:
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 00:00
Everybody that I’ve worked with, including billionaires and CEOs, has something that messes with them. Whether it’s some limiting belief or a view they have about themselves or some situation in their life, there’s something that is a lid on what’s possible in various areas of people’s lives.
Sarah E. Brown 00:27
Hello, everyone! Welcome to the KTS Success Factor Podcast for Women where we talk about the challenges senior female leaders face in being happy and successful at work. I’m your host, Dr. Sarah E. Brown.
Sarah E. Brown 00:43
My guest today is Josselyne Herman-Saccio. She has been coaching for over 30 years and has coached more than 200,000 people. She’s an author, an entrepreneur, and a former number-one pop star. And yes, I did say pop star, and we’ll talk about that in a minute. She has founded a nonprofit. She’s a wife and a mother of three. And she has a passion for empowering people to realize their dreams now versus someday. And she works on developing them to be unmessablewith– forget the grammar, that’s a good phrase– to be unmissable with no matter what life throws at them. And I’m really excited to talk with her today because of that philosophy! And she explains it all in her TEDx talk, which I have listened to twice, so I highly recommend that. So Josselyne, thank you for being here today!
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 01:47
Thanks for having me!
Sarah E. Brown 01:49
So you were just telling me where you live. So tell people where you’re living now and how you got there.
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 01:57
Well, I’m currently living mostly in Paris, which has been a lifetime dream of mine since I was 16. So for 40 years, I’ve been dreaming about “someday” moving to Paris. And I was leading a course that I designed called, “The Foundation for Being Unmessablewith” in November, and I was talking to people about what are your “someday” dreams. There’s no such thing as “someday”, all you have is right now. And I realized– wait a minute, I have a someday dream, called “Someday I’m going to move to Paris”. So that moment, I said, “That’s it! No more someday. What has to happen? By when am I going to have it happen?” we set a date of May 1, and we got on a plane on May 1. And now I am living that dream!
Sarah E. Brown 02:41
Wow! That’s a great story. So for all of you who think you can’t manifest your dreams, it was 40 years in the making, and she realized it because she didn’t give up, but she turned someday into today.
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 02:55
Sarah E. Brown 02:56
So great. That’s a great story! So tell me what you do every day.
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 03:01
I coach people. So I work with people in lots of different environments. So I either work with them on one, or I work in group coaching settings. Or I lead courses. Or maybe on a podcast like this, where I work with people to get the message out there to make a difference with people and have them really see that they don’t have to be messable in life. And everybody that I’ve worked with, including billionaires and CEOs has something that messes with them. Whether it’s some limiting belief or a view they have about themselves or some situation in their life, there’s something that is a lid on what’s possible in various areas of people’s lives. Even if they’re super successful in one area, there might be another area where they experienced being stopped or constrained. So I work with people to dismantle what messes with them, and free them up so that they can create and fulfill on any vision, any dream that they have!
Sarah E. Brown 04:01
Very cool! Are there any typical messable problems that get in people’s heads?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 04:07
A big common thread that I’ve noticed in my work with people is things that people think are true, that aren’t. That’s one of the top things that messes with people. I’ll give you an example from my own life because that’s where I can draw examples from. When I was four years old, I wanted to be a singer more than anything. I would sing to my stuffed animals. I would sing to anybody! You know, captive audience, my dog. And at some point, I was about five and I was sitting in a car with my dad, and he was smoking a cigar and he had been a painter, but I noticed he wasn’t painting as much. So I asked him, “Why did you stop painting?” And he said, “Well, you can’t do your art as your career.” And at that moment, it wasn’t so much that he said that because he said lots of things that I didn’t listen to in my life, but at that moment, I said to myself, “You can’t do your art as your career”. And that was now like the truth. And it became solid, like a piece of metal in my life. And I gathered evidence for it and I went through life going, “Well, I’m not going to have a dream to be a singer if you can’t do it as a career because I don’t want to be a starving artist. I’m going to be a business person. I’ll run a company. I’ll do this. I’ll do that.” And then when I was in my early 20s, I was in a transformative workshop as a participant. And whatever was happening in the conversation, I, all of a sudden, saw that maybe that’s not the truth. Maybe it’s a decision I made in the infinite wisdom of five, that got solid, and it loosened. And within three weeks, I had a record deal, which was literally not going to happen, there was no way that was going to happen. And within three weeks-
Sarah E. Brown 05:51
Were you already singing in that band?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 05:53
No, I didn’t even know those girls! I mean, literally, within three weeks, I not only met the girls, but also met the manager, got cast as the fifth girl in the group, and had a record deal on my table.
Sarah E. Brown 06:06
Well, you might as well tell our listeners the name of the group and the record.
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 06:11
Sure! The group was called, Boy Krazy, with a K because we could sing but not spell. The name of the record that went number one was called, That’s What Love Can Do. And that was the number one hit after Whitney Houston’s long string of the number one spot with “I Will Always Love You”. We were the next number one.
Sarah E. Brown 06:31
And that happened all in three weeks?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 06:33
Not the number one part. Getting the record deal happened. And then it took a couple of years, you know, you have to record the record, then release the record. You know, like that. 1993, it was over 30 years ago! Oh my gosh, that’s like a few kids ago.
Sarah E. Brown 06:46
That’s very interesting! So you knew that was your dream. But, in your TEDx talk, for example, you talk about how once you know what your dream is, take it back to the dream source. So tell us a little bit about the dream source and why that step in the process is so important.
Sarah E. Brown 07:10
Hi, this is Sarah Brown again, the host of the KTS Success Factor Podcast for Women. I hope you are enjoying this episode, and gaining some tips and inspiration on how you can be happier, more successful, and experience less stress at work. If you would like to learn more about how you can take control of your career, and do it your way, visit sarahebrown.com. There you will be able to download a free chapter from my book, Let Your Personality Be Your Career Guide. It contains information and exercises on how you can identify your unique interests, strengths, and needs, and translate that into career goals that are just right for you. Now back to this informative episode!
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 08:04
Yeah, well, most people, fall into what I call “The Satisfaction Paradox”, and if you’ve ever accomplished anything that you wanted to accomplish, it’s kind of like you’re satisfied for a minute. And then it’s like, the next carrot is there for you to chase. You know, it’s like, “Okay”. When I work with actors, because I represent actors, I have an entertainment company that I started. Back when I got my record deal, I wanted to help people make their dreams come true in the entertainment industry. And invariably, somebody will be like, “Well, I really just want to get on Broadway”. Then they get on Broadway, and they’re like, “Well, what I really want is I want to do TV and film”. Then they get a TV and film role, and then they’re like, “Well, what I really want is I want to direct.” I mean, it’s always the next thing! So people are very rarely satisfied. And I really believe that satisfaction is accessible at any moment if you come from your dream vs trying to get to your dream, and I call that your “dream source”. So I work with people to say, “Okay, well why do you even have that dream?” So, I can either go backward to when you were little or forward. So let’s say you got that Academy Award, then what would be available that isn’t available right now? And I take people through a process, it’s not difficult. I mean, it’s pretty simple. But, ultimately, they get to something like, “Well, what would be possible is freedom or self-expression”, or whatever they get to. What I train them in is bringing freedom to life versus trying to get it out of a circumstance or goal being realized. So that at any moment, you could be bringing the presence of freedom to your conversation with any of your guests to the barista at Starbucks, or to your family. So it’s an opportunity to create life vs react to life.
Sarah E. Brown 09:49
Mhm. So it’s what I call the “five whys “. When you think you know what you want, you ask “why” five times
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 09:57
Ah, that’s great!
Sarah E. Brown 09:58
Yeah. So how do you know If you’ve got it?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 10:00
It’s all made up! So I mean, there’s no it to get. It’s just whatever empowers you. I always tell people, “Relax. All right! It’s etched in the sand anyway. You can always create something new if you see another level or another layer to it.” So I try and treat it with a little bit of humor too.
Sarah E. Brown 10:00
Don’t take yourself so seriously.
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 10:03
Sarah E. Brown 10:04
But you do talk about the importance of speaking it out loud. And what is behind that?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 10:29
Well, if you speak Aramaic, which nobody does, but ancient Aramaic or Hebrew after that, the word “abracadabra” literally means “I create as I speak”. So creation which is all the work that I do with people is to move them from reaction or being memorable with to creation or being unmissable with. So creating with your word, whether you speak it out loud, or in your head is a very powerful thing. And when you speak it out loud, it exists beyond your head. It exists in my relationship with you, or with whoever’s listening to this conversation right now. Then you start to fulfill what you’ve created through action. So it’s not like a law of attraction, which I’ve got nothing against, it just doesn’t stop at “Oh, let me just speak it or write it down.” No, you got to act on it! There are actions required. I didn’t just magically get a record deal. I started introducing myself to people as a singer. I recorded a demo. I scheduled a show. I mean, I took actions that a singer would take and then got results that a singer would have. So it’s no different with any dream or vision that you have. You first start it by creating it in language and word, speaking it, and then taking the actions to fulfill what you created. And then the part about being unmessablewith comes in there. Because people have a vision, they might say it, but then they get thwarted or stopped from being able to take the actions that would fulfill it. And that’s what I work with people on.
Sarah E. Brown 11:58
I also find in my practice that saying it out loud is really important in getting clear about it yourself and that you don’t really get clear about it until you voice it to another human being.
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 12:12
I think that’s very, very powerful. In fact, there are studies that have been done. I think it’s something like 45, but don’t quote me on the number, 45% more likely to accomplish a goal that you’ve written down.
Sarah E. Brown 12:23
Yes, exactly! If you’ve written it down, you’re more likely to accomplish it. And if you voice it to another human being, you’re even more-
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 12:32
Even more likely. Exactly! So sharing is a huge part of the work that I do with people. It’s not like rearranging your thoughts– no! You create it, you act on it, you engage with people about it, you make requests, you make promises– it’s all interacting with human beings.
Sarah E. Brown 12:48
So what are your thoughts on goal setting in general?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 12:51
I think goal setting is very powerful, as long as you treat it like a game, not an expectation. So if I have a game to make X amount of money this month, or next year, or whatever it is, you know because I work with a lot of business people. So they have a goal to triple their income, let’s just say. Then there are actions to take to fulfill that. Now, when you end up at the end of the year, you’ve either succeeded or failed at accomplishing that goal. And if you’re smart, you’re checking in along the way to make sure that you’re meeting your milestones, so you’re not completely off track. But the powerful thing about goals is to debrief them. So you debrief whether you were successful or failed. What were the actions that allowed for that goal to be fulfilled? Or what were the inactions that if I had taken would have accomplished what I said I wanted to accomplish? So the debrief, I find, is more valuable than even the result that got produced because you get to see what’s missing, Or what would make a difference, or what was there that got in the way. There are some actions we take that don’t really produce the results we’re committed to yet we’re just going through the motions, taking actions just to spin our wheels. So I find the debrief around goals even more powerful than the goals themselves.
Sarah E. Brown 14:06
Oh, that’s very interesting. Do you need to do that with somebody else? Is it sufficient to do that by yourself?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 14:12
I would not do much by myself because your brain gets caught up in your own thinking and you can’t see outside of it. So I always feel that it’s very powerful to work with another person. And I have coaches. I mean, I’m a coach, but I’m also somebody who’s coached because I know that I can’t see what I can’t see. And that’s why I hire coaches. That’s why the people who hire me hire me to see what they can’t see and tell them what they don’t necessarily want to hear so that they can be who they want to be.
Sarah E. Brown 14:45
So why do you say there is no someday?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 14:48
Well, in reality, there isn’t. I mean, if you look in reality, there’s no past right now, except whatever you’re talking about, called the “past” but you’re talking about it when? Right now. And there’s no future except the future in your head in your thoughts or in your language right now. So in actual reality, this is it! There is no yesterday. There’s no tomorrow. There’s no someday. And there isn’t even a someday on the calendar, so let’s get real. That’s not even a real day! But there’s nothing other than right now in reality and the past and the future live right now in the conversation we have for the past or the future.
Sarah E. Brown 15:28
Got it. Okay! So if I were to summarize the essence of your message, it is this– there is no someday, get in touch with what your dream is and start making it a reality today, and don’t let those unmessable things get in the way. Is that the gist?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 15:48
Yeah. Or develop the muscle to be unmessablewith because stuff is going to mess with you. It’s just natural as a human being. The question is, can you dismantle it and move from reacting to creating in a shorter and shorter period? And it’s a muscle? It’s a practice. It’s discipline.
Sarah E. Brown 16:07
Josselyne, what should I have asked you that I didn’t that would help my audience understand how to make their dreams real?
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 16:14
I think, and now I’m like, “Did you ask me this?” but I don’t think you did, which is what does unmessablewith mean? And a lot of people think it means, which it doesn’t mean, being tough, being resilient, or being somebody who’s impervious to their emotions or something. And that’s not what it means! So what I mean by being unmessable with is being able to create moment to moment and not get reactivated, not get hooked, not get stopped or thrown or down for the count. Being able to stay in action, fulfilling what matters to you, no matter what life is throwing at you– good, bad, or ugly. No matter where you are, no matter who you’re with, you’re able to be that kind of unmessablewith embodiment of your vision.
Sarah E. Brown 17:03
Very, very cool! Josselyne, thank you so much for being with me today.
Josselyne Herman-Saccio 17:07
Sarah E. Brown 17:08
Thanks for listening to the KTS Success Factor Podcast for Women. If you like what you’re hearing, please go to iTunes to subscribe, rate us, and leave a review. And if you would like more information on how we can help women in your organization to thrive, then go to www.sarahebrown.com. You can sign up for our newsletter, read show notes and learn more about our podcast guests, read my blog, browse through the books, or contact us for a chat. Goodbye for now!