How many times have you been in a meeting and thought something but did not have the guts to say it?
Judy Hoberman is President of Judy Hoberman and Associates, a company focused on empowering professional women. She is an award-winning, international speaker, best-selling author, trainer, and leading authority on women in leadership.
In this episode, Judy talks about why speaking up about your thoughts and of value will always be worth hearing by all. She also shares how note taking is crucial at any time and anywhere in order to grasp the valuable information and, later on, speak value.
What you will learn from this episode:
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Discover how you can speak of value instead of just speaking for your sake
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Understand the importance of taking notes wherever and whenever and the power it can give you
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Learn more about how you can go over your limiting beliefs and speak up despite the fears
“I do believe that one of the challenges that women do face is asking for help because they feel it’s weak, and I think it’s a sign of strength.”
– Judy Hoberman
Valuable Free Resource:
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How to gain back that confidence and overcome that fear so that you can speak more of value to everyone: Email the word “leadership” to judy@sellinginaskirt.com
Topics Covered:
01:42 – Challenge is feeling that we don’t know enough or someone might challenge what we say which cultivates the fear of speaking up or saying something
02:54 – Giving up easily or not speaking up at all and staying in the same exact position: the common mistake business women leaders make when trying to speak their thoughts
03:53 – One free and actionable tip you can do to help you get that confidence and knowledge to speak more of value and less of yourself: But what I always do is, I take copious notes. Wherever I go, whatever I’m doing, whoever I’m meeting, I always ask permission if I could take notes because sometimes people don’t like you too. But when you’re in a meeting, you know, have something to write with.
05:07 – One valuable resource to help you find it out if you have what it takes to speak to give: Email the word “leadership” to judy@sellinginaskirt.com to get a copy of her white paper, “Do You Have What It Takes?”
05:45 – Q: What do you still want to accomplish? A:I still want to accomplish the fact that my mission has always been to help one woman a day. And I want to be able to dominate more of that market space where women are actually reaching out and not being afraid to raise their hand and say, “You know, I need some help.”
Key Takeaways:
“Put some mind games together and challenge myself to share valuable information not just to hear myself speak.” – Judy Hoberman
“What I always do is take copious notes. Wherever I go, whatever I’m doing, whoever I’m meeting, I always ask permission if I could take notes because sometimes people don’t like you too. But when you’re in a meeting, you know, have something to write with… It always works because you have something that- you’re competing with yourself, basically.” – Judy Hoberman
“Because a lot of times, we don’t feel that we know enough, or that we’re going to say something that maybe we just can’t back up the information, or maybe someone’s going to challenge us, or we just are not comfortable.”– Judy Hoberman
Ways to Connect with Judy Hoberman
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Email: judy@sellinginaskirt.com
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Website: https://www.sellinginaskirt.com/
Ways to Connect with Sarah E. Brown
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Website: https://www.sarahebrown.com
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/knowguides
Full Episode Transcript:
Judy Hoberman 0:00
Put some mind games together and challenge myself to share valuable information not just to hear myself speak.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 0:15
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the KTS Success Factor Podcast for Women, where we talk about challenges senior female leaders face in being happy and successful at work. I’m your host, Dr. Sarah E. Brown.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 0:34
My guest today is Judy Hoberman. She is president of Judy Hoberman and Associates, a company focused on empowering professional women. She’s an award-winning international speaker, best-selling author, trainer, and a leading authority on women in leadership. With over three decades in business, she combines wisdom and humor with her behavior shaping advice, and as a result, is often described as transformational. She is a TEDx speaker talking about pre-judging people. And she’s the author of four books, including “Selling in a Skirt”, and “Walking on the Glass Floor ”. Judy’s mission is to help one woman a day by following an important philosophy– “Women want to be treated equally, not identically.” Welcome, Judy!
Judy Hoberman 1:32
Thank you so much. I’m excited to be here!
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 1:35
What is the biggest challenge you help female leaders face in business today and what might be the symptoms of that challenge?
Judy Hoberman 1:42
One of the biggest challenges Sarah is really the fact that we tend not to speak up. And I’m not talking about speaking out and being brash, and, you know, abusive like that, I’m talking about speaking up and sharing your wisdom. Because a lot of times, we don’t feel that we know enough, or that we’re going to say something that maybe we just can’t back up the information, or maybe someone’s going to challenge us, or we just are not comfortable. And so, a lot of times, you know, we end up walking outside of a meeting going, “Oh, I wish I would have said that”, and we don’t. Or someone else will pick up the beginning of what you do say, and they run with it, and then it’s theirs. So, it’s a combination of, you know, speaking up.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 2:26
And I guess those are the two symptoms- thinking about it more?
Judy Hoberman 2:31
Yeah, there are a lot of different symptoms to it. But you know, for me, I remember being in that position where I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to. And so, I just generally made, you know, put some mind games together and challenge myself to share valuable information, not just to hear myself speak.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 2:49
Mhm. What are the biggest mistakes your clients make before working with you?
Judy Hoberman 2:54
A lot of times they say, “I’ve done everything. I’ve tried everything. This is not going to work. It’s never worked for my industry”, or they decide to find somebody that has written something that they’ve done, you know, 15-, 20-, 25 years ago that worked in that particular environment, and they’re trying those things. And they’ll try something once and then they give it up. They say, “You know, this is just not working. It’s not good. It’s not this. It’s not that”. Or they decide that they’re going to stay in the exact position they’re in and not speak out at all and speak up at all because it’s just not worth it. And so, you know, sometimes it’s the unfolding of all of those layers to find out what’s really on the bottom line here. So, the big mistake sometimes is that they’re just- you know, they take in this position that, “It’s not worth it. I’m just not going to do it. I’ll just be happy where I am.” And that’s the end of it.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 3:46
That’s sad. So, what’s the number one free and actionable tip you can give our listeners today to address this challenge now?
Judy Hoberman 3:53
So, I’m going to tell you something that I do, and I’ve done and it actually works. And you’re going to think like, “Oh, that sounds a little bit weird to do.” But what I always do is, I take copious notes. Wherever I go, whatever I’m doing, whoever I’m meeting, I always ask permission if I could take notes because sometimes people don’t like you too. But when you’re in a meeting, you know, have something to write with. And I do this, I write down the speaker’s names. I write down what kind of behavior I’m seeing, and I write down if they’ve said something relevant. And then I always give myself a goal, whether it’s 15 minutes or 20 minutes. And as the meeting goes on, I am taking notes. And I’m saying, “Well, Sarah said this. This was pretty awesome”. Or “Someone said this and is just talking for the sake of being heard”, and so on. And I give myself, -f the meeting is an hour, I give myself 30 minutes to either respond or to say something that is, you know, valuable like I said before. And it’s a mind game, and it always works. It always works because you have something that- you’re competing with yourself, basically. And the first time you do it, you’re going to think “That’s craziness”. But then you do it and it’s fun, and it works.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 4:59
That’s very cool! So, what’s a valuable free resource you can share with the women who are listening today to help them understand this challenge better?
Judy Hoberman 5:07
So, I have a white paper and it’s called, “Do You Have What It Takes?” And all I ask you to do is just email me the word “leadership”, and I will send it right out to you. I ordinarily would give a link, but we’ve had so much trouble with power here that I’m afraid that all of our stuff is getting crossed right now. Everything is getting crazy. So, if you just email me, judy@sellinginaskirt.com, and put the word “leadership”, nothing else, you don’t need anything else, I will send it right out to you.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 5:34
Terrific! Thank you very much. So, Judy, what is one question that I should have asked you that will help our audience take action to address this challenge now? And then would you please answer the question?
Judy Hoberman 5:45
I have been dubbed “the question queen”. And there’s a book that I love and it’s called “Power Questions”. And the one question that I use all the time, which opens up conversations to many different levels- I’m not going to do that to you. But the question is, “What do you still want to accomplish?” And it just changes the whole direction of a conversation. So, what do you still want to accomplish? What do I still want to accomplish? I still want to accomplish the fact that my mission has always been to help one woman a day. And I want to be able to dominate more of that market space where women are actually reaching out and not being afraid to raise their hand and say, “You know, I need some help.” Because I do believe that that’s one of the challenges that women do face is asking for help because they feel it’s weak, and I think it’s a sign of strength. So, what do I still want to accomplish? I still want to accomplish helping one woman a day and that will- you know, it just grows and grows and grows and, exponentially, that’s a lot of women.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 6:39
And I love that idea of “the power question”. That this very cool! Judy, thank you so much for being with me today.
Judy Hoberman 6:45
Thank you so much for having me.
Dr. Sarah E. Brown 6:48
Thanks for listening to the KTS Success Factor Podcast for Women. If you like what you’re hearing, please go to iTunes to subscribe, rate us, and leave a review. And if you would like more information on how we can help women in your organization to thrive, then go to www.sarahebrown.com. You can sign up for our newsletter, read show notes and learn more about our podcast guests, read my blog, browse to the books or contact us for a chat. Goodbye for now.