How do you find your way out of a seemingly never-ending conflict?
We have to remember that what got us stuck in something we have a difficult time getting out of is brought about by complex factors. Hence, not just one but a series of actions are needed, and a pattern-breaking path should be in place.
Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler,PhD. is a leading expert on conflict and organizational psychology, is founder and CEO of Alignment Strategies Group, and author of OPTIMAL OUTCOMES: Free Yourself from Conflict at Work, at Home, and in Life (HarperBusiness, 2020), selected as a Financial Times Book of the Month. For two decades, she has advised senior leaders at global corporations in a wide range of industries, as well as, at large non-profit and governmental institutions.
In the corporate arena, Jennifer helps CEOs and their teams achieve optimal organizational health and growth, specializing in innovative technology, healthcare, and financial and professional services companies. She has served clients including CSC, IBM, Intel, Athena Health, Novartis, Oscar Health Insurance, Oxeon, Roche, Barclays, GE Capital, Moody’s, Cornerstone Research, LexisNexis, Navigant, and KPMG.
In the public sector, she enables leaders and their teams to optimize organizational impact at institutions including Jazz at Lincoln Center, the New York City Economic Development Corporation, The New School, Oxfam America, and the United Nations.
In this episode, Jennifer shares how female business leaders tend to resolve conflict no end, but with no result, instead of freeing themselves from it. She suggests pattern-breaking paths that will have you do this not easy but simple actions — stop, pause, and notice how you get stuck and do something surprisingly different to freedom from the conflict loop.
What you will learn from this episode:
  • Learn about the mistakes leaders make so you will know how to free yourself from the conflict loop
  • Learn how to free yourself from conflict as opposed to trying to resolve conflict
  • Find out the pattern-breaking path that will help free you from conflict
What got us stuck is the result of a complex set of factors. And so it’s probably not just one action that’s going to help free us from conflict, it’s going to be a series of actions over time.
Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler
Valuable Free Resource:
Get your 10 Free PDF resources to do something simple and different. Click here:
Topics Covered:
03:23 – The biggest challenge is how female business leaders free themselves from conflict, particularly difficult, challenging conflict, the kind of conflict that doesn’t go away, no matter how many times you or other people have tried to resolve it.
04:48 – How frustration got to be one of the symptoms in dealing with business leaders challenges
05:08 – The biggest mistake people make:
Trying to resolve conflict, rather than freeing themselves from it, and trying to resolve it even when they’ve tried, and nothing they do seems to be making a difference
06:56 – One free and actionable tip that can address female leaders challenges now: Stop, pause, and notice how you’re stuck and then challenge yourself to simply do something different, surprisingly different than you’ve done before.
08:31 – 10 Free PDF resources to do something simple and different. Click here:
09:53 – Q: What is this pattern-breaking action when you talk about doing something different? A: It’s this idea of, when we get stuck in these recurring conflicts, where it feels like no matter what we do, we can’t seem to find our way out, or we can’t seem to resolve it. The best thing we can do is to do something different.
Key Takeaways:
“The biggest mistakes that people make are trying to resolve conflict, rather than freeing themselves from it.” – Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler
When you’re involved in a situation that has been determined by complex factors, you want to start simple. You don’t want to add more complexity on top of it and make it even more complex. You want to do something simple so that you can track your impact over time. It makes it much easier to do that.” – Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler
“Keep your actions surprisingly different from what you’ve done in the past. Sometimes, when you’re going around and around on what I call this conflict loop when you surprise someone by doing something surprisingly different than you’ve done before, it can jolt them out of the conflict loop, too, in a good way.” – Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler
“Each action on that pattern-breaking path leads to the one that comes after it. So each action builds on the one that comes before it. So that there’s a series of surprisingly different simple actions over time that leads you out of this conflict loop to freedom to this optimal outcome that you imagine for yourself.” – Jennifer Goldman-Wetzler
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