You’ve done everything right, built the career, climbed the ladder, checked the boxes. So why does it still feel…off?

Anusia Gillespie is a lawyer-turned-novelist and RYT-200 certified yoga instructor. Her work spans the cutting edge of GenAI in the legal industry and the timeless journey of personal transformation. Her debut novel, Soul Toll (to be released October 2026), blends high-achieving ambition with spiritual awakening.

In this episode, we dive into the quiet tension so many high-achieving women feel but rarely talk about: the disconnect between external success and internal alignment.

What you will learn from this episode:

  • Why feeling fear or discomfort at work is not a sign to quit, but a signal to pay attention.
  • What “soul work vs. toll work” means and how to recognize the difference in your life.
  • Why changing jobs without self-awareness often recreates the same problems.

“Fear isn’t something to push away, it’s a signal.”

– Anusia Gillespie

Topics Covered:

00:00 — Why fear isn’t the problem,  it’s a signal pointing to deeper truth.

02:10 — From law to transformation: the moment Anusia began questioning her path.

04:45 — Why traditional leadership and self-help advice misses corporate professionals.

07:10 —The concept of “soul toll” and paying for the easier path.

09:40 — Redefining success beyond external validation and societal expectations.

12:20 — Why quitting your job won’t solve internal misalignment.

14:30 — Building a new relationship with fear by asking what it’s trying to tell you.

16:40 — Authentic leadership starts with letting people truly see you.

Key Takeaways:

“The courage to pave your path in a world that’s telling you who to be.” — Anusia Gillespie

On leadership: “Let them see you. How are people going to connect with you and follow behind you if they don’t know who you are? — Anusia Gillespie

Ways to Connect with Anusia Gillespie:

Ways to Connect with Sarah E. Brown:

 

Full Episode Transcript:

(AI helped us put this together, so if you see any weird grammar or missed words—just know we nailed it during the actual chat.)

Anusia Gillespie

Fear isn’t something to push away, it’s a signal. 

So it feels like anxiety and it feels terrible, but the second that you say, why are you here? What are you trying to tell me? 

It’s a transformational moment and kind of a micro soul work moment in having a different relationship with that fear and seeking to understand it and what it’s trying to tell you versus pushing it away.

Sarah E. Brown 

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the KTS Success Factor podcast for women, where we talk about challenges senior female leaders face in being happy and successful at work. I’m your host, Dr. Sarah E. Brown. 

My guest today is Anusia Gillespie. 

She is a lawyer turned novelist and RYT 200 certified yoga instructor. Her work spans the cutting edge of Gen AI in the legal industry and the timeless journey of personal transformation. 

Her debut novel, Soul Toll, which we’ll be talking about today, blends high-achieving ambition with spiritual awakening. 

Welcome, Anusia. 

Anusia Gillespie

Thank you. Thank you for having me. 

Sarah E. Brown 

Oh, it’s great. So we’re going to talk about Soul Toll, but we need to establish a little bit about your background and what your day job is now and how you got into it.

Anusia Gillespie

Absolutely. So as you mentioned, I’m a trained lawyer. I practiced as a law firm associate for a time, but actually did my yoga teacher training alongside that about 10 years ago and had unexpected awakening in that yoga teacher training that had me questioning my career very, very early on. 

And so made a jump from practicing law to the business of law. Was lucky to have a role at Harvard Law School in executive education. training lawyers from around the world on leadership principles. 

And from there, really started into transformation and transformation work within the legal sector and now specifically in legal technology as Gen AI is transforming our industry. 

Sarah E. Brown 

Got it. Got it. So what possessed you to want to write a novel? 

Anusia Gillespie

You do need some kind of possession to get through the whole process. 

Sarah E. Brown

You do. 

Anusia Gillespie

It’s true.

Sarah E. Brown

One of the things that I do as a side gig is I’m a book coach. So I help first-time authors who are writing books to get them published. 

And it does take an incredible amount of commitment to write a book, particularly your first book, to write it, get it published, and the whole bit. And it is like being possessed.

So what possessed you?

Anusia Gillespie

It’s been five years in the making. So it’s definitely been a marathon.

And two things possessed me. One was a need. 

So I was working in the business of law and a very ambitious person and was reading leadership books at night to try and get ahead. 

And so I was working all day and some dry content and then reading leadership books at night, which felt like dry content. And I just couldn’t spend my whole day feeling uninspired.

And so, I turned to self-help books, but then they weren’t really for me. They’re more for entrepreneurs or kind of personal things to work through. And it wasn’t so much, okay, I’m a corporate professional.  Help me kind of get ahead and give it to me in like an entertaining, inspirational way that I can dive into at night or in the early hours of the morning. 

And there wasn’t really a genre that met that need. And so my book is helping to deliver insights but through a fantasy vehicle so that it’s kind of like the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down, that’s entertaining and educational. 

So that was one, is solving for a need.

And then two, I would say the real possession is I had something to say and I didn’t know what it was until I finished the first draft of the book and then threw that out. Figured out what I had to say, and then wrote the second draft of the book.

Sarah E. Brown 

Okay, so that’s not an unusual process. 

But tell me about the title. Before we go into what the message is, tell me about the title. Where did that title come from, Soul Toll?

Anusia Gillespie

It took me a long time to come to the title. Soul Toll was always a scene in the book where the protagonist, she’s in this other world called Resonance, and she encounters an easier way to get through the path. 

And there’s a character who offers a Soul Toll, and it’s, you know, an extraction of something for the comfortable path. And as I was working with my book coach, he said, you know, where did you come up with that? And I was like, well, it’s just an obvious thing. Like you pay for some things, you pay that toll in order to either do your soul work or for whatever it is. 

And so it’s just this framework I have in different jobs of how much soul, how much is this soul work and how much is this toll work. 

And that’s when we pulled the title of the novel out from a chapter of the book. 

Sarah E. Brown 

Oh, okay. So you said this is sort of like a leadership, a book on leadership. So what’s the core message then?

Anusia Gillespie

The core message is the courage to pave your path in a world that’s telling you who to be.

And to break that out a little bit in, you know, you get on a corporate ladder or whatever ladder you’re on, and there seem to be these rungs and these predefined versions of success that we start climbing when we start ambitious people start going down. 

And it’s really easy to lose yourself along the way with this external validation. And at some point, It’s what’s my own definition of success is who the world is telling me to be. Is that who I want to be? 

Or, you know, at some point you have that reflection and come from you and it said, here’s my definition of success and I’m going to be all about that and not let the world get me off track.

Sarah E. Brown

And did you come you personally come to that clarification for yourself through writing the book or through your yoga training?

Anusia Gillespie

So I personally came to that point through my yoga training, but I wouldn’t have the words to describe that until I wrote the book.

Sarah E. Brown 

Okay. And what was it about writing the book that helped you to get clarity on that?

Anusia Gillespie

I’m a very visual person and I think, you know, documenting it and then I went through a process in writing where I was fortunate actually to have, you know, the internet and images and I created a PowerPoint of 75 images that followed the story arc of the book. 

And so I could see my book and I could see it all at once. And so then all of a sudden I understood the protagonist’s journey. I understood what she was going through. I understood what her mission was at the end of the day. 

And through seeing her, I better understood myself because that was a mirror for what I had been through and where I came out. 

Sarah E. Brown 

Okay. Are those images in your book? 

Anusia Gillespie 

They’re not. That was something I talked about with my book coach of, do we do a kind of graphic novel? But I really, at this point, and you know, through feedback, I might change that. But I didn’t want to impose my visuals on someone else. The book is very much about the reader and not about me. And so I didn’t, I don’t want to incorporate that.

Sarah E. Brown 

Okay. And just out of curiosity, what role is your protagonist in? What’s her job?

Anusia Gillespie

She’s a lawyer.

Sarah E. Brown 

All right. 

All right, so there might be some self-disclosure in there. Yes. Okay, so when we were chatting about this ahead of time, we had some discussions around fear and discomfort and things that individuals might be feeling in their current role. 

So if someone is feeling discontent or fear or something like that, what would you counsel them to do after having had this experience yourself and writing the book? 

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I hope you are enjoying this episode and gaining some tips and inspiration on how you can be happier, more successful, and experience less stress at work. If you would like to learn more about how you can take control of your career and do it your way, visit sarahebrown.com. 

There you will be able to download a free chapter from my book, Let Your Personality Be Your Career Guide. It contains information and exercises on how you can identify your unique interests, strengths, and needs, and translate that into career goals that are just right for you. 

Now, back to this informative episode.

Anusia Gillespie

Yeah. And as we were talking about before, I think a lot of people, the message is, well, you’re in, some of that fear is because of the system that you’re in. 

And so you need to get out of that system or change jobs. And this is coming from actually someone who’s been in seven different jobs over the past 10 years. 

My message and my advice is don’t change jobs. That’s not the answer. And also, we need really highly ambitious and people who are curious about themselves in leadership positions, in corporations, in these institutions that are creating the decisions for our world. 

So, I want you to stay in. If you’re having these questions, that means you’re going to be or you are going to be a really great leader. 

So, I think the first step and it sounds so basic, but it’s just having that conversation with yourself and having some awareness of where is that discomfort coming from? Where is that fear coming from? Is it from the distractions of people around you? Is it coming from a true internal discomfort?

And for me, I’ve faced a lot of different fears in those different positions. I jumped from a law firm associate to a solo consultant at the ripe age of 29.

And so I had the intense fear of failure that was almost crippling, and I succeeded. So why did I put myself through that in the first place? 

At Harvard, I wasn’t faculty. I was on the administrative side. And so you have some of that second-class citizen status, and so you have the fear of not being good enough. I had that same fear at my law firm when I was on the business side. I led innovation, so I wasn’t a practicing lawyer all of a sudden. And I had been a practicing lawyer. 

Now I’m a second-class citizen, so there’s this, like, value affirmation that you need. And so there’s a lot of different ways that fear shows up.

And so, and actually there’s a chapter in the book where it’s made clear that fear isn’t something to push away. It’s a signal. 

And so it feels like anxiety and it feels terrible. But the second that you say, why are you here? What are you trying to tell me? 

Is a transformational moment and kind of a micro soul work moment. in having a different relationship with that fear and seeking to understand it and what it’s trying to tell you versus pushing it away.

Sarah E. Brown 

So, it’s music to my ears when somebody says, don’t quit your day job, because that’s the first thing I tell my clients is don’t quit your day job, because you’re going to recreate the same problem someplace else unless you get clear first about what it is that is unique about you, and then can intentionally create that somewhere else. 

So I’m with you on that. 

I’m curious, though, to what extent do you believe yoga and related type practices are helpful, beneficial, crucial, whatever in this process of discernment?

Anusia Gillespie

So I have a lot of thoughts on this. Thank you for the question. 

So in the book, I make it clear, you know, the cover has someone standing on a yoga mat, but other people’s path to being embodied and connected with themselves doesn’t have to be yoga or meditation. That is how I got there. 

That said, I’ve had some advanced readers who have come to me, and as recently as yesterday, and she was very about, you know, I do jujitsu and that’s my path. I’m not into yoga. Okay, great. You know, whatever your way is. 

And then she came to me yesterday and said, I’ve started doing yoga. I can see it now. So, you know, I don’t mean to prescribe anything. I mean to, you know, give an option for people. 

For me, when I was in the teacher training program, 10 years ago, and I had done my JD-MBA, I was a law firm associate, and I was very disconnected from myself, which I only learned by sitting with myself and through forced meditation through the teacher training program. 

And I sat there, I think it was only 10 minutes, and I was sweating. I was so uncomfortable. I just wanted to get up and run out of the room. And when I opened my eyes, everyone else was sitting there calmly. 

And I kind of asked everyone, like, wasn’t that horrible for you too? They’re like, no, I have a meditation practice at home. I’m like, oh, this is something with me. This is something I need to figure out. That’s not good that I can’t sit with myself for 10 minutes without, you know, wanting to jump out of my skin. 

And so for me, that was a path to just even understanding that I had work to do to reconnect with myself.

Sarah E. Brown 

Mm. Okay. 

And so I guess you’re summarizing and saying it’s probably going to be helpful to others as well. So when do you find time to actually train on yoga with a full-time job?

Anusia Gillespie

6 a.m. 6 to 7, come home, see my toddler off to school, and then get to work.

Sarah E. Brown 

Okay. All right. 

When you’re actually instructing, are you able to do anything for yourself?

Anusia Gillespie

Okay, so let me clarify. I am now taking yoga, not teaching yoga, because I lost the ability to take class for myself as I’m working full time and as a mom. 

However, I’m doing a workshop actually related to the book, and that will be a yoga book workshop with book readings throughout. at the end of this month. 

And I think I’ll repeat that as a way to get back into teaching. That’s a more sustainable model for me, you know, an hour and a half on a Sunday versus trying to incorporate it throughout the week. 

Sarah E. Brown 

All right. That makes more sense. 

So tell me, you built this as learning leadership lessons in an entertaining way. Give me your definition of leadership, first of all, and why this is a critical component of becoming an effective leader.

Anusia Gillespie

That’s a big question. Thank you for it. 

My definition of leadership, I think, is more a philosophy of leadership, which is authentic leadership, vulnerable, and bringing your whole self and allowing people to see you. A phrase that comes up for me a lot when I talk about the book is, let them see you. How are people going to connect with you and follow behind you? 

If you’re the leader, how are people going to connect and know to follow behind you if they don’t know who you are if they don’t trust you. So it’s more that kind of philosophy of leadership. 

And so the book ties directly to that and first starting with, well, who are you? Who’s in there? These labels of mom, these labels of lawyer are things you became later in life, but you’ve always been in there, so who’s in there? 

Sarah E. Brown 

Okay. All right. That helps. 

So when is the book going to be available? 

Anusia Gillespie

October 7th. Great. 

Sarah E. Brown

And where will people find it? 

Anusia Gillespie

On Amazon, and then I’m an indie author, so I’m reaching out to local bookstores. Bookstores can get it on IngramSpark as well, so if they’re listening, they should order some for the physical locations.

Sarah E. Brown

Great, and you can be found at AnusiaGillespie.com? 

Anusia Gillespie

Yep, and I’m very active on LinkedIn as well. 

Sarah E. Brown 

Okay, great. So, one final question. What should I have asked you that I didn’t that would help people understand the importance of this book?

Anusia Gillespie

What’s the platform? And the platform that I would like to spark a fire around is to fight for your light because you have to remember it and fight for it every single day. 

Otherwise, the world will continue to dim you. 

It’s unfortunately not built to just help you shine. And so that’s our job and our mandate to do for ourselves and the world around us is to fight for our light. Great.

Sarah E. Brown 

Anusia, thank you so much for being with me today. 

Anusia Gillespie

Thank you so much. 

Sarah E. Brown 

Thanks for listening to the KTS Success Factor Podcast for Women. If you like what you are hearing, please go to iTunes to subscribe, rate us, and leave a review. 

And if you would like more information on how we can help women in your organization to thrive, then go to www.sarahebrown.com. You can sign up for our newsletter, read show notes and learn more about our podcast guests, read my blog, browse through the books, or contact us for a chat. Goodbye for now.

Sarah E. Brown
Sarah E. Brown